Reigning on the Parade

Hello ladies and gentlemen,

Welcome to the final edition of Freddies Ofer’s Roast and Toast. Tonight we have the only person left in the league. ME! Your reigning, defending league champion who put up the best record  in the history of the league (17-4), the most points for ever recorded (10517.5) and the only person to defend his championship! Albeit, I was almost lambasted by Kyle in the finals.  Props to you, man!  You had me sweating from Thursday on and I honestly went to bed Sunday night before the games ended down by about 20 and expecting to wake up to a loss after Iglesias blew the save and got the loss. I think that my last at bat of the season (Blackmon) saved me when he hit a 9th inning home run to put me ahead but I am not completely sure the exact timing.  This is definitely why points leagues are awesome! A Cinderella story is always great.  Again, awesome job Kyle, it was a great run and you can still laugh at the other 10 idiots that lie in the pile below us. You can laugh at me too just because if you want as well.

So I asked you guys to give me some ideas and as usual most of you were pretty useless. Par for the course I suppose.  Luckily a few of you chipped in some ideas and I will try to flesh some of them out for you in small short words so we can all understand them!

Justin suggested I talk about a trade offer in which I asked if he wanted to upgrade keepers with Nelson Cruz who for three years running has been near the top of the league in OPS, exit velocity, home runs, rbi’s and pretty much every offensive category. Yeah he is older than Bett’s but at that point was ahead of Betts in points and I didn’t feel like saying something bad about my player helps the chance of a trade? I digress though,  while Cruz is the epitome of consistency and has helped lead me to back to back championships I will admit that as a keeper, Betts is likely the better option by a small margin. You got me man. I am sorry!

On that note, Justin mentioned a top 10 Zimmerman and a top 10 Longoria I will say that top 10 does not win leagues, especially at the cornerstones. Also, if Zimmerman was either the 1st or 2nd ranked first base man in the beginning of the season and ends at 10, he was NOT the 10th best at the position.  While he would have provided great value during the playoffs, I don’t think he posted over a 5.0 average for any month past may during the regular season and in this offensive environment from the years strongest position, that is a detriment.  As for Longoria, again, top 10 isn’t good enough from the hot corner and with players that you could have picked up such as Castellanos, Shaw, Rendon, Turner, Moustakas or Taylor for free on waivers. Longoria wasn’t a good trade even if Salazar did end up sucking and boy did he ever… Jesus, I have doubts he ever gets his shit together as a starter. Maybe he can be the next Andrew Miller?

Next on the list is a tried and true staple. My luck!  Picking up Schoop with his top 10 exit velocity and excellent launch angle did pay excellent dividends!  I did expect better out of him than he had done so far in the season when I grabbed him out of necessity due to injury but HOT DAMN!  Schoop blasted into the stratosphere after I grabbed him. After posting 25 homeruns last year he broke the 30 mark with 32 blasts this year. Yes, Andrew is right. I never expected such a fantastic effort but I did expect something that would be valuable until I didn’t need him anymore! You do need some luck to get to the top!

Gausman. Jesus fucking Christ. Mother fucking Kevin Gausman.  You know, I have to be honest, I don’t think I drafted Gausman once in the 50ish mock drafts I did.  But when Salazar, Quintana, Hamels, and Cole went in between my picks I needed a number 2 and he, for some ungodly reason, seemed like one of the only options. I am a masochistic idiot apparently.  This guy decide to go out and get torched in nearly every single game in the first half of the god damn season…  I just couldn’t figure out how to quit him.  The waiver wire was bleak at best and the upside (at least in my mind) was better than any scrub waiting to be streamed… It ended up working out as he got his shit together int he 2nd half and ended up putting together some great games during the playoffs but this is definitely a lesson for all of us about holding on to someone for too long and having it hurt your team… Fuck Gausman. *Drafts him again next year like an idiot*

Looking at my draft, man I have to be glad that so many breakout offensive standouts broke out this year on waivers because Chris Davis (7th round, Pedroia (12th round) and Segura (6th round) could have been a disaster.

Alas, next year I will continue to sell my soul to the SABR gods and the fantasy ball gods to bring a threepeat to The Cawk Tawkos and I hope you all bring your A game to stop me like Andy did this year. Next year I think you guys should do my roast. It will definitely be more entertaining than this was. Until then, adios!